UltimateBones

UltimateBones = hot males of every sort.

I’m bonemonkey, your gracious host, and I’ve discovered that every guy (well, almost every guy) has his own unique charm. It could be his sweet smile, or his amazing body, or his killer eyes, or his bubble butt, or his huge big fat unreasonably hard cock.

My mission is to put as many hot guys as I can right in your face.

And I love my mission…

My taste in men definitely colors this site, so I guess I should explain what I like best.

There is something lovable about nearly every guy, but I’m partial to guys who run somewhere between “masculine” and “slightly ill-tempered.” I have more fun hanging around with men who show some challenge - wimpy, too-agreeable little bottom-boys bore me to tears. I’d rather arm-wrestle to see who’s on top than worry about some little slip of a guy getting his heels clipped by my ceiling fan after he runs into my bedroom and invitingly throws his legs up in the air.

In some respects, guys are like fishing - it’s not so much what you hook, so long as you have a lot of fun landing it. If you’re not in it for the sport, then go to the meat market and grab whatever looks freshest.

I’m a big fan of the “stud next door” type, those mostly-ordinary guys who distinguish themselves by either being very proud of something, or by being very bold in that weird half-shy way.

Henry (from ExtraBigDicks) is that type of guy. He’s one of those southern Cali party bros who walks around with a sexy half-sneer on his face, and he’s usually seen holding his pants up with a Cadillac belt buckle.

One of those sun-drenched blonde guys you might not pay much attention to at first, but when you start talking to him you just know there’s a big motor under he hood… If you catch my drift.

Not the type to come right out and say “I have a huge fucking dick,” but the type who has a good laugh when you ask about it.

And might ask whom you heard the rumor from.

I’ve always found guys like this very engaging. Matter of fact, I like them way better than I do the stuck-up snots who are more than happy to tell you about their fine manhood, their oh-so-tight asses, or whatever.

It’s way hotter hanging around with someone who is fun to chat with, hoist a few beers with.

Of course, any guy who walks around with a Cadillac belt buckle and giggles when asked about the “size of his prize” had better whip out something like this.

Anything else is false advertising, and one just might start taking points off the boy’s the total score for those crappy tats and his silly peircings.

A guy like Henry gets in the door with some basic charm, and gets to stay because he’s loaded with character and has a shitpot of amusing stories to tell.

And in the end, he’s fun because he’s just so damn absurdly big and doesn’t know quite what to do about it.

You might rightly ask at this point, “what the hell would you do with him, anyway?!” and I’ll answer. I’d try like hell to top him, even if it meant giving up a peice of ass and chewing a pillow to shreds while getting drilled. I love having a big handle out front for the good old “reach-around.”

I grew up in the southwestern region of the US, and I’ve had a lot of fun with Mexican guys.

They tend to be a bit stoic until their blood runs hot, and then they’re very passionate.

If you can give a good massage and “slob the knob” with a fair degree of skill, thus providing that much sought-after but so elusive Happy Ending, you’ll find that most Mexican guys are nicely bisexual and don’t mind returning various favors.

And after a good quid pro quo romp, most of them like to cuddle, too.

I like spooning, especially after I’ve just fucked a guy nice and hard.

Hanging on to a cock that won’t quite go soft is a great way to fall asleep.

Mexican guys are usually not greatly invested in the “sneak away in the morning after a 1-nite stand” concept, either. This can be good or bad, depending on how one feels the next day.

If you don’t like having breakfast with the guy you fucked silly the night before, and the guy is Mexican, you’d better have him sneak away after a nightcap instead of spending the night with him.

And there’s nothing wrong at all with the “whitebreads” - those big humpy blondes and redheads who talk straight, act straight, but really put out nicely after a good burger and a pitcher or two of beer at the local sports bar.

My first lover was a big, solid German boy with red hair, and I fondly remember counting the freckles on his shoulders, half awake, early in the morning.

(Occassionally, he’d blow my whole morning wake-up routine, usually after we’d had chilli the night before - you can guess how.)

At the end of the day, it boils down to is this: Every guy has some “redeeming feature,” some cuteness which makes it possible to completely overlook an absence of total perfection in the Overall Man.

Those guys are the focus here at UltimateBones. You’ll find a few perfect specimens, guys who are so fucking pretty it hurts to look at them. You’ll find a few sweet little twinkie types as well. But all of the guys here are magnetic because of some unique charm.

~ bonemonkey

(Images courtesy of Badpuppy, ExtraBigDicks, biLatinMen, and ChaosMen.)